. . . . . . . . .

i want to write one of my lists, or something fun and fruity, or something thoughtful and light and not too pointed, but really….i just can’t ring one up right now. i’m so nervous, so moody and anxious and excited and scared and cautiously optimistic, and just generally obsessed. to some people it’s just an election, i suppose, but it just feels so incredibly important to me; such a matter of right and wrong. i don’t believe the poll numbers, won’t believe the outcome until it’s official, but i have HOPE. lots and lots of HOPE. that we can get this right, and get back on track. i want it so badly my teeth ache and my head hurts and that line in my forehead is getting deeper by the hour… but still, i have HOPE.

oh wait, ok. here’s a list, just a little one. let’s call it
[things i really really want now]:

~ emma to grow up knowing President Obama
~ NO on prop 8, YES on domestic partnerships/marriage for all responsible adults, without discrimination
~ a clear, uncontested outcome at the end of election night
~ peace, peacefulness, confidence in the future
~ a good bottle of wine, a nice evening in, and the ability to perfect the pistachio macaroon recipe which (after two tries) still eludes me

cheers, friends.

[imagine, central park, new york city. october 2008]
. . . . . . . . .

11 years ago today, I arrived in NYC. Three apartments, two roommates (including the really bad cross-dresser who left me with an unpaid $700 phone bill…), countless jobs, four cats, two dogs, nine+ years of marriage and one Little New Yorker, 10+ times singing at Lincoln Center, one day of singing for the pope, three dinners at Daniel, many many Magnolia Cupcakes, too many amazing theatre experiences to mention, and i’m still here.  i’ve wanted to live in this city since I was 14 years old, and it has been literally a dream come true.

even now, as i scout for houses and dream of a place near the ocean on both coasts (and a quaint lavender farm in the south of france…), making plans and lists for the future, i wonder if I could ever really leave The City.  possibly i’d just miss it tooooo much.  i want my kids to know this city; this is Emma Magnolia’s hometown, as amazing as that still sounds to me.  i feel so proud to have made it here.  to have gotten here, and made it home.  to get to walk through central park as part of everyday life, and just be here.  i don’t know where i’ll end up, but i know this: i’m still not finished with this town.  i’m still living my small-town-girl-in-the-big-city dream; we’re still making it work and feeling lots of love here.  and i’m so very very grateful for that.

time to celebrate.  Empire Diner, anyone?

. . . . . . . . .

horrible sore throats and runny noses (for the bumble and the mama bee)…not quite how i pictured Halloween, but it’s ok.  the schedule’s full: school in the morning, a school party from 11-1:30, home for a little disco-nap, then a neighbor’s party from 3-6 and trick-or-treating through the building immediately following.  not sure if we’ll make it through all that.  all i know is that bear has graciously agreed to keep all the candy away from my greedy little fingers, which i greatly greatly appreciate.

oh, and just in case you don’t know why she’s a bee:  my husband calls me Bee (melissa means “honeybee”, so it works), and when we were pregnant, we called the baby-in-belly The Bumble.  thus the bee reference.  she’s been a bee before (and dorothy last year), but i figured this was the last year Mama Bee would get to choose her costume, and i wanted one more bee year!