~ the sun came out yesterday (hello, march. nice to see you), and it was neither windy nor freezing. i was ostensibly out running errands, but gave in to the urge to stretch out like a kitten, sitting in the sun with a book of poetry, a hot cup of tea and some great music. within 30 minutes i felt taller, more optimistic, and so much clearer. i might be ready for spring (because i’d like to replay this scene without wearing a winter coat).

~ as i was going to church the other day, i saw a man and his son walking toward me. the boy was probably about nine, and was telling a story, while his dad (a big burly guy) occasionally asked a question. when they came to the curb, without pausing in the story or even making eye contact with each other, the father very subtly put his hand out, and the boy grabbed and held his hand as they crossed the street. it struck me as such an intimate, tender movement, something they had clearly done many times before.

~ yesterday i ran into another mom from emma’s summer ‘09 tap class, someone i quite liked, but haven’t made contact with since then. we only had time for quick “hi! bye! great to see you!” as i was in a rush to pick up our neighbor from school. as we walked away, she turned back, waved and, so sweetly, blew a kiss (the nyc in-a-rush equivalent to the cheek-kiss). it was so spontaneous and kind, and it was so nice to see her again. i love little moments like that.

other little things that make me happy:

~ making waffles for the family in the mornings. em’s current favorite are waffles with nutella (whilst i eat mine plain, hoping that such acts of caloric abstinence will finally pay off).

~ rediscovering a forgotten piece of jewelry, then wearing it everywhere for a week, feeling like it’s brand new

~ wearing red cowboy boots. or green ones. or mocassin boots with fringe that makes a determined “fwip” sound with every step

~ flying a kite, or watching someone you love fly one against a perfect blue sky

~ songs that make you want to listen over and over on a loop, singing along every time

~ finding that thing you wanted is on sale, just when you’d decided to buy

~ reading aloud

~ putting the last piece in a jigsaw puzzle

~ holding the camera at waist level and taking a picture without looking

saturday morning, emma raided the costume box. our first visitor was this little purple number, which is supposed to be some sort of “Dora Princess” thing, but looks to me more like a miniature version of something Carrie would’ve worn on SATC (ie: a little bit of what my mom calls “hoochie mama” with some couture ruffles to ‘class it up’). i like the shoes. and the decision to add an orange santa-hat with the purple dress shows a fashionista who’s willing to take risks.

fortunately, Dora Princess didn’t stick around for long. after 15 minutes, snow white showed up.

she’s our favorite princess, but she was apparently feeling a little drab. emma came out in the dress and immediately decided “it needs somefing else…”

i think the belt was just the right touch. not sure about the flower-headband.

you’ll never guess who showed up next!

cinderella (who wisely remembered that her dress is itchy, and had the foresight to wear a t-shirt underneath)! she jumped on the furniture; princesses are rule-breakers like that.

cinders wasn’t long for our living room, either. next thing i knew, an “i love ny superhero” had arrived. everyone knows that superheroes don’t wear pants. duh.

after a few flights around the apartment, our superhero retired. emma declared it was Cupcake Baking time (and who am i to argue? we love baking).

it was great fun. and soon enough daddy got off work and we met him at our favorite pub…which now has a ski-ball machine!

just a normal snowday at Chez Jose, the kind of “uneventful day” that reminds me why i keep the camera always charged and ready to shoot.

(also, that last snapshot is illustration of the fact that i would post a very-blurry picture of the kid, just because i actually like the way my jawline looks for a change. we all need to see our best side sometimes, right?)

i can’t tell you how relieved i am for february to be coming to a close. it’s a long cold month and always gives me the blues. i kind of hibernated my way through it, but it still has managed to leave me a little fragile. we’re in the middle of a foot or two of snow, and the last 11 songs on my itunes shuffle were about sunny warm beaches…not nice.

hope you’re all weathering it well. there are brighter times ahead to be sure. (according to my calendar, in 22 days we will be partying in the World of Mickey with the rest of the Casey Fam!)

. . .

this is a picture of my mama, who is beautiful even when she’s sad. in this picture she was sad because we were saying goodbye. this week she’s been a little sad because of her birthday (she’s only 57 this year. i don’t quite understand the math, but i’m pretty sure mom and i are getting closer in age). she gets a little caught in her head sometimes, missing the people that we’ve lost, replaying the life she’s lived so far, deciding what to do next.

all i can say is this: my mother is the strongest person i’ve ever known. the things she’s been through…well, you wouldn’t believe me if i told you, so let’s just say there have been many many challenges on the way. she never made her struggles mine, but she never hid her real life from me, either (i believe that gave me strength, too, and the honesty she’s always given me is something i treasure). for many years of my young-childhood it was just the two of us, and despite how difficult those days must have been, i remember laughing a lot, playing a lot, reading a lot, singing a lot, and truly enjoying each other’s company. we’re tied together pretty tightly, which sometimes makes life a little difficult for both of us, but also makes us both terribly lucky. i know her inside and out, i’m grateful for her love and support, and i love her more than words could ever express.

happy belated birthday mom. you are, always have been, always will be my hero, my favorite poet, my dearest friend.

xoxo

. . . . .

“I believe in kindness. Also in mischief. Also in singing, especially when singing is not necessarily prescribed.”
~ Mary Oliver

. . .

“Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
~ Mary Oliver

. . .

“if the only prayer you said
in your whole life was ‘thank you’
that would suffice”

~Meister Eckhart

. . . . .

ah, i love quotes like these. for 25 years i’ve been writing them down in little notebooks, revisiting them and reclaiming them. little bits of wisdom and thought. voices that carry.

happy weekend, friends. may your days be filled with raucous laughter, sweet quiet times, well-intentioned chaos, unexpected joys, and unconditional love. xoxo

it’s Friday already?
that was fast.

. . . . .

very random things:

~ the Mahler symphony i sang this week got a nice review in the NY Times. i love my job, even when it’s a relatively small part of the whole picture

~ 20 years ago i visited nyc for the first time and became immediately determined to live here someday. i’m still in love.

~ i believe that chocolate + caramel = a mighty fine combination

~ i love johnny weir, and not just because he has such beautiful skin

~ speaking of beautiful skin…how much does botox cost? my increasingly creased forehead really wants to know. just for reference, of course.

~ i need to drink more water

~ i don’t really care for water all that much (unless i’m bathing in it. i do appreciate a nice hot bath)

~ i found two (and a half) paperclips this week

~ and a penny