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we’re celebrating a happily low-key st. patrick’s day. it’s a day off for the catholic schoolgirl (patrick was a saint, after all…) and the sun is shining. instead of trekking to the parade, we’ve been dancing around the living room, having bagels and salt+vinegar potato chips for lunch, and gathering up energy and gear for an outing to the hairdresser and the playground. i’m sending a wink+nod up to my irish ancestors and dreaming of a vacation to the old country.

hope today brings you laughter and joy, comfort and a sense that we really can get through the rough patches. xoxo

“May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life’s passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!”

* * *

why, hello there! fancy seeing you here. [insert lame excuses here ("busy! sick! working! sleepy! etc!") as to why i haven't blogged in a week, and let's get on with it, yeah? thankyouverymuch.]

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[random list: i think, but i'm not entirely sure, it's wednesday]

~ i know it’s lame to go on about the weather, but “29-degrees (feels like 21)” feels mighty bone-chilling when you don’t own a coat. i mean, i DO have a coat, but it’s four sizes too big and has lost all its buttons (who has time to find/repair buttons on a coat that’s four sizes too big?)… i can’t just stay inside, because outside’s where the good light is and my soul thrives on good-picture days. maybe i should at least try to locate some gloves.
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~ so since i’m getting a little, um, antsy about the weather, you might start thinking it’s silly to be going to the Beach (no not a warm one, a cold but beautiful new england one) next week. ha! our room has a view and a fireplace, and our kid looooves the cold, so i’m feeling confident that we can withstand some beautiful walks and seashell hunts and picture shoots as long as the prospect of “nowhere to be and unlimited coffee waiting right inside” looms.
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~ i entered the lottery for tickets to the inauguration (thanks senator!), but it states that there’s a two-ticket limit per household. do soon-to-be-age-three people require their own tickets, and if so, is it fair to leave one of her parents out of such a historic day? it’s seeming more and more likely that we’ll watch the big day from home (or maybe Times Square or some other gathering of folks) and just take a day-trip to visit with the Bobama Family once the cherry blossoms are in bloom… (Oh, and did you watch The Bobamas on 60 Minutes last week? i really do love them. love.)
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~ did a photoshoot over the weekend with my neighbor’s 4-day-old. oh so smooshy and lovey and perfect… but i’m going to admit something: i’m still glad i get to give the baby back to the parents and go home baby-free at the end of the shoot. i mean, i thought by this point (since my baby is a Big Guwl) i’d be new-baby-craving, but i’m really not. i’m so content with our threesome, and it suprises me just how much i love it. not to say it’ll never change….just to say i sure like it Just the Way We Are right now.
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~ i’m reading Toni Morrison’s new book, a mercy. she’s my favorite author (inasmuch as i’ve read everything she’s ever written and i have loved almost all of it, and have to buy her books the moment they’re released) but this one isn’t exactly pulling me in so far.
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~ going tomorrow to get a direct hook-up for the ipod and siruis radio installed in the car. the fm-transmitter thing is just maddening, and the idea of being able to listen to our playlists AND our fancy radio with no static make me want to get in the car and drive for days and days. (mom, we’ll pick you up on the way and ride all the way to vegas…)
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~ baking roundup [things i've baked in the last week]: madeleines (delicious and so fluffy and golden), coconut macaroons (perfectly sticky and yum), pistachio macaroons (on my third and FINAL attempt, still do not resemble macaroons in any way. tasty but wrong. i’m retiring my dream of being a macaroon-baker and going back to my pie-diner on the roadside of the lavender farm…)
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~ my new, humble and ultimate goal in life: to be a gay icon. Judy, Barbra, Madonna, and ME. um…help?
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~ my neighbor’s dad (who is Scottish but has lived in Australia for the last 20 years) described me as “the lovely British girl with blonde hair” after having met me twice. Now, you KNOW it’s always been a dream of mine to be British…but, um…. is my accent really that thick, or is it just my general ladylike demeanor?
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~ i’m not one of those “my kid’s more genius-y than your kid” people, but i’d like to point out that she can read as well in french as she can in english. case in point:

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finally poking my head out of the cough syrup-haze, taking the day off from kids (Em’s at daycare today, or “indoor playground” as she calls it). the day has such potential for relaxation and adventure except for this 32 item to-do list that’s calling my name…

one of those items on today’s list (just a few steps below “make inspiring Clean-the-House-from-top-to-bottom playlist”) is “write a blog entry”, so if i can stay focused i’ll be back later.  cheers!

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despite all we’re juggling at the moment (the flu, the chest cold, the nasty cough, the kid’s double ear-infection, our busy schedules, etc…), we still found time this weekend to meet up for burgers & goat cheese omelets, jump around the city, look at furniture, and play hide and seek (oh, and read books) at the bookstore together.  little things like that can carry me through the whole week.

~ dreck like Shrek on broadway is bleak enough, but now opera companies are starting to drop like flies.  Opera Pacific is closing for sure, there are perilous rumors swirling about Baltimore Opera as well as at least five others, not to mention that City Opera is totally in shreds (Mortier proved to be as ridiculous a choice as he seemed) and realistically probably as dead as the rest.  i’ve already felt the impact in the short-term (only four performances with a Big Company where once they had scheduled six), but i’m starting to sincerely worry about the long-term. stupid effing economy.  stupid effing banks and lenders and arts-donors strapped for cash.  …and i fear it’s only a matter of time before the churches start cutting back their music budgets as well.

~ why is it so hard to find one piece of bedroom furniture that can house our computer, tv, and a couple drawers-full of clothing?  and when i find things that look almost right, WHY must the pricetag be so beyond my downtrodden-ecomony budget?

~ oh my gosh i need new headshots.  right this minute.  and i don’t want to dip into my travel fund to make it happen.  i need to get some background paper or something and just take them myself, yeah?  argh.

~ why can’t emma’s school have them make art projects with just paper and paint?  i’m tired of devoting space to 3D boxes that are supposed to be houses (or maybe a lighthouse?  or a church?  or?  i have no idea, and neither does emma), but instead look like copper-painted prison towers with pipe cleaners stuck in the top.

~ i’m singing 7 services and a wedding this weekend.  too bad i still can’t shake this horrible coughing cold thing.  i recently read that warm chai with bailey’s irish cream makes a good substitute for a hot toddy…. tonight diet coke’s gonna have to be the thing, though.

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[i love]

~ long lunches with old friends. got together with Ryan and Brian yesterday, and it’s just so warm and easy to spend time together, chatting over everything and nothing.

~ crest cinnamon ice toothpaste

~ perfect gingerbread

~ bargain-shopping

~ jo malone’s nutmeg & ginger body cream, combined with the orange blossom spray. absolute mood-lifting, spirit warming, optimism in a scent.

~ the smell of baby powder and baby lotion (mustela and good old johnson & johnson’s)

~ being early

~ whichever one of my neighbors left a bag of (unused) skincare products by the elevator with a post-it saying “i’m free! take me!”

~ that emma swears the peace sign on my shirt (silver and sequined, perfect bedazzled goodness on a little black t-shirt) is a pretzel. every time i say “em, it’s a peace sign!” she corrects me: “no, mom! it’s a pretzel, silly!”

~ things that actually turn out like i envisioned them in my head.  (see also: this sour cream apple pie.  so delicious!)

. . .

[obsessing over, repeatedly]

~ grooming my eyebrows, not too much, not too little, but just right. my arches aren’t the same, and plucking makes my eyes water (okay, it makes me cry like a baby). once i get them right, i can hardly ever resist doing just a “little more”, which gives me a persistent and gnawing fear that i’ll become one of those old women with no brows, just big dark penciled-in orbs. i get them waxed at the salon, but the in-between maintenance is making me tweaky.

~ crafty little touches for the holiday season; i’m so excited to put up the tree this year! you won’t be surprised to know it’s going to have a liberal helping of perfect white starfish and seashell garland…

~ getting Emma into school next year. $6200 for Pre-K 3, and i’ve been in NYC long enough that sounds [almost] reasonable?? *deep breaths*

. . . 

[reading, now]

~ “Songs Without Words” by Ann Packer
~ “Stiff: the curious lives of human cadavers” by Mary Roach
~ “How to be a Domestic Goddess: Baking and the Art of Comfort Cooking” by my new ladyfriend Nigella Lawson

. . .

[where i'm going]

~ thanksgiving: Cape Cod
~ after-christmas/pre-new year: Sunny Southern Indiana
~ inauguration day: Washington DC
~ 2009, date tbd: England, with my mummy (gotta get that passport updated!)
~ 2009, date tbd: Chicago, to give the never-my-favorite-city another chance and take my honeybear to eat at Alinea
~ 2009, spring/summer/fall: California. house hunting? who knows…
~ right this minute: Em’s school…it’s time for our friday “pizza/playground ’til you drop from exhaustion” outing. ciao!

~ i think i’ve got some kind of post-election hangover. my head hurts, my throat is scratchy and dry (oy! this coughing!), bright lights are killing my eyes, and i get a little woozy if i stand up for too long. i mean, sure…this could be the flu, but it’s more likely just my body getting rid of the angst-y toxins of the last eight years, right?

~ thank you america, for being a place i’m proud to call home today. even in my flu-like state, i’m over the moon with excitement. (side note: boo to you, Prop 8-ers! you’re everything i hate about “religion”)

~ this has been such an emotional week, what with the election and all these anniversaries (in addition to my NYiversary, this week also marks the week my grandma and aunt bernie died)…i do like to take some time to reflect on all the memories, like a warm soak. i’m sorry to say that mom has cancelled her visit this weekend (feel better, mummy), but i’m pretty much hibernating anyway.

~ of course, i’m also hibernating because the time change never fails to kick my ass. i do not appreciate full darkness before 5pm. i just don’t.

~ now that the election’s over, i’m excited to get back to important things (like watching all those neglected shows on the dvr, finishing our christmas cards, practicing my rockette dance routines, and redecorating our bedroom on a very-minimal budget)

emma’s first election: she voted a straight ticket, and chanted “President Bomama” all the way home

i want to write one of my lists, or something fun and fruity, or something thoughtful and light and not too pointed, but really….i just can’t ring one up right now. i’m so nervous, so moody and anxious and excited and scared and cautiously optimistic, and just generally obsessed. to some people it’s just an election, i suppose, but it just feels so incredibly important to me; such a matter of right and wrong. i don’t believe the poll numbers, won’t believe the outcome until it’s official, but i have HOPE. lots and lots of HOPE. that we can get this right, and get back on track. i want it so badly my teeth ache and my head hurts and that line in my forehead is getting deeper by the hour… but still, i have HOPE.

oh wait, ok. here’s a list, just a little one. let’s call it
[things i really really want now]:

~ emma to grow up knowing President Obama
~ NO on prop 8, YES on domestic partnerships/marriage for all responsible adults, without discrimination
~ a clear, uncontested outcome at the end of election night
~ peace, peacefulness, confidence in the future
~ a good bottle of wine, a nice evening in, and the ability to perfect the pistachio macaroon recipe which (after two tries) still eludes me

cheers, friends.

11 years ago today, I arrived in NYC. Three apartments, two roommates (including the really bad cross-dresser who left me with an unpaid $700 phone bill…), countless jobs, four cats, two dogs, nine+ years of marriage and one Little New Yorker, 10+ times singing at Lincoln Center, one day of singing for the pope, three dinners at Daniel, many many Magnolia Cupcakes, too many amazing theatre experiences to mention, and i’m still here.  i’ve wanted to live in this city since I was 14 years old, and it has been literally a dream come true.

even now, as i scout for houses and dream of a place near the ocean on both coasts (and a quaint lavender farm in the south of france…), making plans and lists for the future, i wonder if I could ever really leave The City.  possibly i’d just miss it tooooo much.  i want my kids to know this city; this is Emma Magnolia’s hometown, as amazing as that still sounds to me.  i feel so proud to have made it here.  to have gotten here, and made it home.  to get to walk through central park as part of everyday life, and just be here.  i don’t know where i’ll end up, but i know this: i’m still not finished with this town.  i’m still living my small-town-girl-in-the-big-city dream; we’re still making it work and feeling lots of love here.  and i’m so very very grateful for that.

time to celebrate.  Empire Diner, anyone?

time for a little levity. and some lists.

when i was a kid, i had two imaginary friends: Jan & Cindy Brady (yes, from The Brady Bunch). after reading the press blurbs from her new book, one can only guess the life of debauched depravity i’d have traveled if Marcia Brady had been my imaginary friend, too. but by a turn of good fortune and judgment on my part, only Jan & Cindy were my imaginary friends. actually, at some point fairly early in the imaginary-roommate situation, Cindy & i kicked Jan out. we stopped inviting her to our imaginary dance parties, and we stopped inviting her over for imaginary dinner….. i feel guilty saying it, and even worse when i tell you that we kicked her out simply “because she was annoying”. (what can i say? mom, is it ok if i blame this one on the divorce?)

anyway. i don’t know why cindy and i were so close, but we were. and over the years, although i’ve never actually held conversation with other imaginary friends, i have created quite a detailed list of public figures and characters (fictional and non) that i just know i’d become fast friends with if the opportunity arose. here, dear internet friends (which isn’t so far off from being imaginary, is it?), is a very abbreviated list of my imaginary best friends:

~ julie andrews
~ britney
~ martha
~ judge marilyn milian (from the people’s court, my long-standing guiltiest pleasure)
~ dolly parton
~ simon doonan AND jonathan adler
~ tim gunn (who i am convinced is the perfect, perfect gay friend every girl needs)

the life i live in my head is rich, let me tell ya’ …