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friday morning when i left emma at school, she was emotional. one of the boys was teasing her a bit (opening her backpack and taking things out, touching her hair even after she told him to stop…harmless but certifiably annoying stuff like that), and i watched as she sat in line, frozen as a statue, turned more and more toward the wall. i could tell she was trying to make herself a rock, trying to keep herself from crying. i watched helplessly as tears finally spilled down her face (and was relieved when the teacher noticed and made the boy apologize).

learning to deal with the pests is part of life, isn’t it? learning to ignore when we need to ignore, and speak up when we need to. learning to put your chin up and take a deep breath. we also learn, particularly those of us that are a little extra-sensitive, that sometimes you just have to accept a heavy heart and a few spilled tears.

i know these lessons for myself; i’ve learned them and lived them, grown calluses in some spots and accepted that i’m always just going to be a bit weepy when the right mood hits. but as a mama…oy. watching my daughter try to be brave was absolutely heart-wrenching. as a mama, you’d give anything to stuff those tears back in, punish the little pest, and make it all easy.

…even when you know that you can’t make it better.
…even when you believe in your heart that being a soulful, sensitive, sincere spirit is worth it all in the end.

as i left, the teacher held emma’s hand, took her to the front of the line, and let her lead the way up to the classroom. em wiped her tears on her sweatshirt and didn’t look back.

by the end of the day, she was all smiles, my beautiful joyful girl.

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