* * *
i’m used to go-go-going. i’ve never slept much at night, and i like to think i can get through every task and project i set my mind to. it means a lot of frantic schedules and impossible-seeming projects finished just in time, but that’s the way i’m used to making it work. at the moment, though, i’m completely at the mercy of my body. i’m really not complaining (the end product will definitely be worth the nine-month process), but i’m finding myself in a position where i have to adjust my expectations and acceptance of myself. i’m having to slow down, do nothing, take more time than i’d like to get to things, accept that there are other things i just can’t do right now. i’m finding that i feel weak – mentally and physically – and even though it’s my typical instinct to push back and make it all happen no matter how i feel, this time i’m just accepting that my body is the one calling the shots. it’s humbling and hard for me, but i’m learning from the downtime, too. i have to let go of things, have to work from the inside out, taking care of myself and my family first. i have to take it slowly, and be patient with my current limitations.
today will be a success if i can do the following:
~ wash my hair
~ get my printer to work
~ go to the post office
~ get emma to tap class on time
~ drink more water
~ not melt in the heat
~ laugh heartily
that’s not asking too much, right?
right?
* * *
whatever you’re doing today, i hope you’re being easy on yourself, too. it’s pretty dang liberating.
xoxo
[trips to the ice cream shop are good for the soul, too]
4 comments in “[thursday's snapshots + adjusted expectations]”
July 8th, 2010 at 7:19 am
your little girl is tall!! hey, try a couple of bowls of sherbet; it’s just as refreshing as ic and easier on the gut. (you can always count on me for advice; i don’t take any, i just pass it on) xoxoxo
July 8th, 2010 at 9:18 am
Hey Melissa,
It is really wise of you to set goals for yourself, no matter how small they seem, and work through your feelings by writing or just expressing them. I buried most of my emotions and I am still sorting out things, 4 years after my hardest medical year. Yesterday for instance, in the process of new singing discovery the emotion comes bubbling out, so raw and real that it is hard to handle.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Congratulations on your news, and we’ll be lighting candles for you out here in Jersey for the next few months.
Hugs
jen
July 8th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Hi, Miss -
I don’t know what it is about that first trimester, but the body is sapped of ALL ENERGY. Especially with the 2nd baby. I remember coming home from work and collapsing on the couch for the rest of the evening and not being able to get up. (and you KNOW that’s not me). But after you get through the first 3 months, you’ll regain your energy and feel great again. Love ya!
July 8th, 2010 at 8:37 pm
true about baby #2. i have pictures of me asleep on the couch in the middle of the day, with little ben sitting next to me watching his 4th or 5th hour of tv for the day. it definately gets better after 3 or 4 months, and then, amazingly, you get a TON of energy!!! hang in there!!!
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