i’m always talking about change.  always making lists.  always looking ahead, trying to make plans for next year, three years from now, ten years from now….but too often my big plans and changes stay on the page, just ideas and sincere but distant hopes.  can’t really say what i’ve been waiting for, just that sometimes it gets *overwhelming*.  oh, and deep in my heart i’m kind of lazy.

 ’tis the season for change, though.  i’ve Officially started up my photography business; i’m actively working on growing it.  i’m also actively trying to sort out where to go with my personal photography habit, how much to share, how to recognize when i’m just hiding behind the camera to avoid interracting in the moment. how to keep it a fun activity that i share with Emma - a picture game we play – and remember that it should never be an obligation for either of us… i take pictures of my family so we can remember the moments, the growth, the days…not so i can avoid being active in them.  i like flickr, and i’ve learned a lot from flickr, and i’ll still be posting some things on flickr, but somewhere along the way i got a little too caught up in the messier parts of that community and criticism; i stopped posting pictures that were too blatantly “imperfect”, and in the process i ignored some “perfectly imperfect” pictures, real moments in our lives captured by snapshots (did you know that some photographers throw the word “snapshot” around as a sincere insult?  hmph.  those people are not really my people.).  i’m tired of even thinking about comments and favorites and how the flickr-folks respond; the sincerity of the whole game died off some time ago. 

SO, here i am, back where i started (more or less).  back to blogging.  blogging so my (real life! not just internet!) friends can get a little glimpse of my kid, my husband, my city and my crazyness.  blogging on my own, in my own space. not for feedback, but because i just want to get it out there.  blogging for a place to get it all off my chest and let it go, without worrying about being judged or dismissed. blogging in my own space where i can post a picture and a list that have nothing to do with each other except that they’re both mine…and i don’t need to pull it together into a little work of art every time.I’ll still be putting some pictures over there, but my new *project*, one i aim to follow through with, is to Bring Back the Blog.  It’s ok if you share the journey with me, too.